Enantiodromia

I was reminded recently that a friend had once said I was a lot like Clint Eastwood. I responded by asking whether that was the Dirty Harry or Unforgiven Eastwood. It seems I took offense at the comparison. I look back on it as a combination of compliment and joke, because Clint is cool but that's not me.

Eastwood roles include a lot of barely controlled make-my-day aggression. I am surprised when people see me that way. I aspire to be more friendly, vulnerable, compassionate, agreeable, open, kind. Maybe keeping teenagers under control all those years warped my persona.

That's what I was thinking as I turned my T-shirts right-side-out and put them back in the drawer today. But then, who cares if I wear a T-shirt out-side-in? To suit myself, I would want the finished seam next to my skin, and never mind anyone's opinion of how I look. 

But in fact, it matters to me what you and the others think, so the neat side goes out for you to see, and I keep the ragged side to myself. According to Jung, that is how we invent a persona. Meeting the demands of our social situation, we become a good-side-out habit to be broken later in a process called enantiodromia as the repressed personality emerges. Here I am 26 years after retirement, still enantiodromiating. It can take awhile, and there may be relapses.

What are we up to today,
stink bombs or spit balls?
I'm in. No detentions. 
But let's be nice,
open the windows
and mop up the spit. 
Gimme a smile before you go. 
This is the real me just now:
ragged, agreeable, defenseless.
No Clint talk
from this enantiodromiated teacher.

Not sure about tomorrow.
Clint or Dennis,
catch us in the next note
and see for yourself.

****************
Thanks to Carl Jung for passing on an impressive word for an interesting idea.